When All Hope is Lost
by Packersfan12
Summary: Levi had come to know that life liked to throw curve balls. Most of them he let pass, having no effort to hurt himself further. He had seen so many of his friends and loved ones die that he didn't let himself get close anymore. But then, ever so occasionally, life liked to throw something worth catching. Levi/O.C.
1. Chapter 1

The breeze was warm on his face, which was turned up to look at the sky above him. Delicate white clouds rolled across the blue, and he wondered if they were as soft as they looked. What he wouldn't give to just touch them, to lay in them for just a moment. It seemed so peaceful to him compared to the life he lived. He was surprised he even knew what peace could feel like anymore.

"What are you looking at?"

Levi Ackerman blinked, his daydreams interrupted by the woman riding next to him. He turned his steely gaze on her and shrugged, "The clouds I guess."

She cocked her head and looked up at them with him, "What about them?"

"Never mind." He said, gripping the reigns of his horse tighter. It was foolish of him to be distracted by clouds of all things when they were outside of the wall. He let his guard down for a moment and it put his whole squad in danger. At any moment a titan could have come out of nowhere.

"They look soft don't they?"

Mina Sleven. His second in command, hand picked by he himself. There was something about the way she looked at life that pulled him to her. She was the top of her class in the Cadets, having high recommendation from her officers. In the field she was level headed and kept her composure, something that was becoming exceedingly rare in the new recruits. She was the perfect soldier, and still was able to be the soft, kind-hearted person the men needed after being witness to so much death during missions. He didn't know how she was able to do it, but she did.

The men liked to joke that the biggest reason he liked her was the fact that she was shorter than he was. Levi never gave much thought to his height, it didn't change his performance in the field. He thought being small was his biggest advantage. But in the world outside of missions, he was constantly mistaken for a new recruit, or thought by the newest recruits to be weak. He didn't want to be taller, but it was oddly refreshing to know someone that was shorter than he was. It was also probably one of the reasons they were as close as they were. He trusted Mina over anyone, and knew she always watched over him in the field as he did her.

"Yeah, they do." He said, answering her remark.

"Sort of like you just want to lay down in them and never get back up." She mumbled, her dark eyes holding an emotion he couldn't place.

He didn't answer her back, only focused his vision on the path ahead. They were coming up on a wooded area. Their objective was to rid the forest of titans so more lumber could be made. Housing in the walls was becoming more and more rare.

"Captain." Mina called, drawing his attention.

"Yes lieutenant?"

"Sir, should we abandon the horses at the opening and use our gear in the woods to stay above ground level?" She asked.

He thought about it, turning in his saddle to look at the men following him. They watched him with hard eyes, awaiting his response. He turned back around, mulling it over in his mind. He hated to leave the horses behind, it was faster to take them through the woods, but it would cause less casualties to use the gear, and that was something that he needed.

"We will take the horses a little further in to a clearing I have on the map." He called, recalling a small clearing just inside the entrance to the forest, "From there we will use the gear."

"Yes, sir." She said, giving him a reassuring smile.

They soon came upon the forest, and stopped at the entrance. Levi turned his horse around to face his squad, "Alright listen up." he called, drawing the attention from everyone. He cleared his throat, "Our objective is to clear out any titans in the area. After our mission is done, another squad will bring in supply wagons to start hauling lumber out of the forest to use inside the wall. When they arrive, our mission is to then protect the wagons while they do their jobs. Are there any questions?"

The men looked at each other, and Mina shook her head.

Levi nodded, "Alright, we will use our maneuver gear after tethering the horses in a clearing approximately half of a mile inside." He paused, "This is a simple mission, use your good judgment and make safe decisions. This isn't something worth dying for."

"Yes, sir." They all said in unison. He looked at each and every one of his men, taking pride in the confidence on their faces. He trusted each of them with his life, and he knew they trusted him with theirs.

"Use your smoke if one of you needs help.." He said, "These woods aren't that big, we can get the job done in an hour at the most. The wagons are on stand by so let's get this over with. Look for my signal."

They rode into the woods, the men chatting to each other as they did.

"How's your wife doing Lennox?" Stan asked.

"She's great, the midwives say she should be due in the next week or two." Lennox grinned from ear to ear, "Then there's going to be another little Lennox running around the world."

"I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing." Stan joked.

"I think it's great." Mina said, "I'm really happy for you two. Make sure you let me hold the little bugger."

"I don't know if that's a good idea, you might try to sneak a bite." Lennox muttered.

"It's not my fault I like food." Mina mumbled.

"I think 'like' is an understatement." Levi spoke up, "You almost ate my hand off when I offered you the rest of my bread."

"Did not!" She protested.

The men in the rear laughed, agreeing with the captain, who laughed at the memory, as Mina sat fuming in her saddle.

They fell silent, and Levi kept his eyes on the woods around him, knowing full well that at any point a titan could pop out of nowhere and be on top of them before they could do anything about it.

"Sir, look!" Mina called, holding her arm out in front of his face.

He looked down at what she was holding and narrowed his eyes, fighting the nausea that was rapidly growing his his stomach, "Mina," He said, as the hairy spider started reaching its legs out to his face.

"Yes, sir?" She asked.

"Get that disgusting thing out of my face."

She bit her lip and fought back the giggles that were no doubt fighting to be released, "Isn't he cute?"

"No." He said bluntly, "It's repulsing actually."

"He just dropped down right into my lap out of the trees." She said, making his skin crawl, "So I'd watch out if I were you." She gave him a wink and smiled.

"Are you terrorizing the captain with dust again, Mina?" Stan asked patronizingly.

Levi rolled his eyes, readying himself for the oncoming slew of germy jokes.

"Just a spider." Mina said, holding out the spider for the others to see. They shuddered and Stan said, "This one time I can agree with you captain."

He shook his head, and directed the group into the clearing they would tie their horses in. Once that was done, they flew up into the branches of the trees. After giving them another quick run-down, they separated and took up their parts of the forest.

Levi had the southern portion, which he glided through, keeping a weathered eye on the ground below him. Soon he stumbled upon a small three meter titan, wandering aimlessly through the trees. He glided past it, drawing its attention. It reached it's pudgy hands out to try and grab him, which he maneuvered around easily. He'd rather throw himself into a burning inferno than be touched by a titan. One only knows how many germs were on its hands.

He shuddered at the thought.

He easily swung himself around it and cut the soft spot on its neck, watching it fall to the ground lifelessly. He swooped down to land on a tree branch, looking down at the little titan. He almost felt sorry for them, condemned to a life that consisted only of the lust for human flesh. They didn't know any better, they were like wild animals wandering until they find use of their bloodlust. What kind of life was that?

He looked back up at the sky and the clouds, wondering if the titan's soul was up there somewhere now, along with all the others, with the people they'd killed.

He quickly moved on, clearing the forest in a good amount of time. When he was sure his portion was cleared, he returned to the clearing and rose his gun above his head, releasing a stream of green smoke into the air. It wasn't long after that he heard the sounds of the maneuver gear as his squad made their way towards him.

Stan Sherman was the first to reach him, the tall German broad shouldered blonde-haired man gracefully swooped down to land in front of him, "All clear on the north front, sir." He said, giving Levi a salute.

"Good work, Stan." Levi said, saluting him back.

Lennox Reagan was the next to reach Levi and Stan, the lean scarred thirty year old also snapping a salute, "Eastern front cleared, sir."

"Good, good." He said, pacing back and forth.

Finally Mina came swirling up to the tree to land next to Levi. She grinned, "All quiet on the Western front, sir."

He arched an eyebrow, "Nice reference."

"Thanks, I wasn't sure you'd get it."

He reached for his gun with the rest of them, firing the signal smoke up into the sky. He put it back into its place at his side and walked out further onto the thick tree branch, peering out over the field. "It won't be long now until the wagons come, keep on your guard for any straggling titans." He called to his squad members.

They nodded and stood alert. He glanced at them out of the corner of his eye. His squad. He was proud of each and every one of them. None had disappointed him, or let him down, persevering in situations that would have killed any other person. The Levi Squad had been revered for their sharpness and accuracy in the field, and there was a reason why. Each of them were as close to the others as you could get. They were almost like a dysfunctional family. They were the closest thing Levi ever had to a family, and he loved each and every one of them.

Suddenly a group of wagons burst over a hill, and he turned to his men, "Here they come."

They all stood next to each other, waving at the scouts driving the wagons. They waved back and called, "All clear?"

"All clear." Levi called.

"Good, our objective is just past this clearing." The scout driving the wagon in front said.

Levi dipped his head, "Lead the way."

As the other two squads cut at the logs they were using for timber, Levi's squad kept a protective eye on their surroundings. Levi crossed his arms, watching as they stacked the wood into the wagons.

"It's going to weigh them down."

He turned to see Mina standing behind him. She, too, was watching with worried eyes. She was right, the wagons would be very weighted, and if there was an attack by a group of titans he didn't know if their small squads could keep them at bay long enough for the other squads to reach them.

"We have to trust Commander Erwin's judgment." Levi said, though he too had his worries.

"I always do." She said, almost reluctantly.

He squatted down to rest his knees, asking her, "How's your brother? I heard your mother passed away."

"Yeah, last week." She said.

"I'm sorry."

"She had a long life." Mina sighed, "Not the best, but not the worst. My brother is being taken to public court to see if he's fit for living on his own." she paused, "He's not."

Levi turned his gaze on her fallen face, "So what does that mean?"

"He'll probably have to go to an institution." She said, "He's so afraid."

"There's nothing you can do?"

She shook her head, "I'm not a fit guardian for him since I'm in the scouts. I won't always be there, and if I'm killed on a mission, they'd just have to do this all over again."

Levi frowned, "When does he go to court?"

"Next week."

"I can put in a good word for you." He said.

Her eyes lit up, "You'd do that?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, sir." She said, giving him a cheerful smile. He gave her a small smile back, because it was hard not to be caught up with them. They were infectious, like her personality. If she wouldn't have been in his squad, he might have asked her to dinner. A nice little place that he went to situated on the river. They knew him there, saved his table outside if he ever decided to pay them a visit. He thought Mina would like it there.

His men may have said he liked Mina because of their height, but the truth of the matter was that he felt himself attracted to her. He had known her father in the scouts, served in his squad when he was the captain. Levi was on the mission when her father had died saving the life of a rookie. He was also one of the men who had to tell the captain's family. That was when he had first met Mina, having held her while she cried. A few days later, while he was out running a few errands, he had run into her, and she had told him she would be shipping off to the cadets the next day, and that she planned to join the scouts in honor of her father. She had been so determined.

"Titan approaching!" Stan called from the other side of the path. Levi shot up onto his feet and looked in the direction Stan was pointing. A tall seven meter titan was running towards them. The scouts on the ground shuffled in hesitation.

"I've got this one, sir." Lennox said, hopping from the tree and towards the titan.

They watched him swinging towards the titan and the scouts on the ground got back to work, a little more quickly than before.

Mina tied her hair up into a ponytail as Lennox was almost on top of the titan. She opened her mouth and said, "Sir, I-" She stopped short, making him turn towards her. Her eyes were focused on something behind him, her face expressing her indecision.

He turned in the direction she was staring and said, "What is it?"

"I don't know, I-"

Lennox cried out, and tried to maneuver himself upwards but he was too late as a titan came running at his right. It grabbed Lennox, who tried to cut its fingers with his blades, but he didn't have the range to.

"Lennox!" Stan shouted, jumping from his perch in the tree across from Levi.

Lennox was struggling in the titan's grip, and started screaming as the titan squeezed harder. It rose Lennox up into the air, the man's cries growing more agonized. The titan gave the final squeeze, and Lennox was cut silent, his blood spattering the foliage around them.

Stan cried out in grief, tears flying off of his face as he swooped around the titan and cut it's soft spot before it could devour Lennox.

Levi felt his fingernails digging into his palm as he shouted down to the scouts, "Hurry the hell up, we need to get out of here now!"

"Sir!" Mina shouted. He turned to her, her face frozen in fear, "They're coming. I don't know how many but I can hear them."

He listened, and the distinct rumbling could be heard in the distance, growing ever more loudly. He dropped down out of the tree next to the captain of the supply wagons, "We need to leave. Now."

"We don't have enough lumber to return with." He said.

"If we don't leave now, unnecessary death will occur." Levi snarled, "I am not willing to risk any more of my men."

"We have our orders, Levi." The captain said, "We're not leaving without fulfilling them."

Levi gritted his teeth and grabbed his flare gun. He sent a round of purple smoke up into the air to signal for help. He then shot up to the tree where Mina stood with her hand on Stan's shoulder, who had retrieved Lennox's body and killed the other titan. The German was holding Lennox close to him, silent tears streaming down his face. Levi gritted his teeth, "There are an unknown number of titans approaching. We are not to leave until the supply squads have finished their mission."

Mina stared at him with wide eyes, and knelt next to Stan, "We have to leave him here."

"No, I can't leave him." Stan choked.

"I'm not asking you to." Mina said softly, "Just until the titans have been dispatched."

Stan laid his friend's body down on the branch, folding Lennox's cloak over his mangled face. "He was going to be a great father." Stan said, and then stood up, his face radiating vengeance. Levi put a hand on the German's shoulder, "Clear your head, don't act on vengeance."

"Sir, titans to the north!" Mina shouted.

"Titans to the east!" Someone below them called.

"We're surrounded." Mina whispered.

A titan broke through the trees behind him, picking up one of the scouts on the ground. The man screamed as the titan bit him in half, his blood raining down on his comrades below. One woman screamed out in agony, shooting up in her gear to attack the titan. She swung around him, but screamed in surprise as another came out of nowhere and slapped her out of the air. She hit a tree and fell to the ground lifelessly.

Mina swung easily behind the two titans, cutting their soft spot effortlessly. Stan followed suit, cutting down a titan before it could snatch another scout on the ground.

Levi swung himself out of the tree to head off the titans coming from the entrance, needing to give the supply squads a way out. He spun in the air as he brought his blade singing across a titan's soft spot. He maneuvered out of the way of a snapping five meter, it's breath wrapping around him in a haze of disgusting stench. He then dropped himself down to dispatch it, and swung up to a tree branch to survey his surroundings.

Mina was effectively holding off the titans coming in from the west, and Stan was holding them off from the north. A female scout was trying to hold them off from the east, but she was clearly not as skilled as his squad. Of course no one was as skilled as his squad, he had made sure of that.

Levi watched as more titans surrounded them, and soon it was all they could do to keep the wagon supply safe. Levi had just finished downing a four meter titan when he saw one pull on Stan's cable. The scout shouted in surprise and plummeted towards the ground.

"Stan!" Mina cried, trying to make her way over to her friend. She maneuvered out of the way in time to miss the snapping jaws of a female titan.

Levi shot over towards Stan, who hit a tree and dangled unconsciously from his cables. Three titans descended on the scout. Levi was able to cut one's soft spot, but one had grabbed Stan's body. The other titan tried to swipe him from it, but only managed to catch the half of Stan that was exposed. The two titans started fighting over Stan, and Levi could only watch as they tore his friend's body in half.

"No!" he shouted.

"Stan!" Mina cried. In her momentary distraction, a titan came up on her right and swatted her out of the air. She screamed and hit a tree, falling to the ground in a heap. She rose to her feet in clear agony, trying to maneuver herself up into the trees, but the cables didn't work. Mina froze, her eyes meeting Levi's and she flew into the air as a titan grabbed her between it's thumb and index finger.

"No!" Levi cried, rushing towards her. _No more_. He thought, _No more death._

Below them, titans were attacking the supply wagons, ruthlessly killing the scouts under his protection, but he could only see Mina. She was struggling against the titan, trying to pry her head out of its grip. It rose her above its open mouth, and let go. Mina screamed as she fell, but Levi reached her just in time. He caught her midair as the titan's teeth snapped, making Mina cry out.

He landed on his feet high in the branches of a solid tree, setting Mina down. It was then that he saw the blood soaking his pants, and Mina's leg missing just below her knee. She stumbled and slid down the back of the tree to sit in shock. "My-my leg." She whispered, looking at her missing limb.

Levi clutched her hands, "You're going to be okay." He said calmly, though the shaking almost crept out in his voice, "Stay here, I'll be right back."

"No!" She tightened her hold on his hands, her eyes wide and full of fear, "Don't leave me."

"I'll be back, I promise." He said, and dove down out of the tree.

Mina sat in utter shock, her hands shaking violently. She could only stare at where her leg used to be and wonder why she didn't feel any pain. Blood was seeping out onto the tree and she vaguely thought she should try to bandage it.

She rested her head against the back of the tree. Stan was dead. Lennox was dead. Countless numbers of the supply wagon squad were dead. How many more had to die? When was enough, enough? She wanted Levi, she wanted him to stay there with her, to tell her she would be fine. She always counted on the captain's cool attitude to keep her calm, but how could she keep her calm when he wasn't there? And what about her brother? What would Marcus do without her? She was all he had.

The world around her began to grow fuzzy and warm, the edges around her vision growing dark. She was losing too much blood. She felt herself start to lose control of her body and fall to the side. She tried to stop herself but couldn't. She slid to the side and fell from the tree. She could only close her eyes and brace for impact.

When she hit the ground, she felt something in her left shoulder crack, and sheer pain erupted in her upper left side. She screamed in pain, and opened her eyes to see a titan approaching her.

"Levi!" She screamed helplessly, having lost all feeling in her body.

"Levi!" He turned while hanging in midair after killing a titan and saving one of the wagon scouts, his eyes shooting to the place he had left Mina. She wasn't there. He looked down to the ground to find her laying spread-eagle and a titan reaching toward her.

Levi shot back out of the way of a reaching titan and barely had time to get out of the way of another behind him. This was it, the wagon supply was all but dead, and his squad was wiped out. There was nothing he could do now but watch helplessly as titans closed in around them.

A hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back against a tree. He turned to stare into the face of commander Erwin, "We need to get out of here now." He said, releasing blue signal smoke into the air. Erwin's backup started fighting off the titans to allow room for the wagon supply to retreat.

Those remaining of the wagon supply started running, but were stomped on by titans. Levi turned back to where Mina was being picked up by the titan. He gritted his teeth and dug his heels into the tree he was backed into. He was about to launch himself toward her when Erwin grabbed Levi around the waist and hauled him in the other direction, "We need to go, leave her!"

"No!" Levi shouted, "I can't, I won't!"

Erwin slammed the captain against a tree, "You're my best soldier, I won't lose you. Leave her, that's an order."

Levi was shocked silent, and looked to where Mina was limply hanging in the titan's hand as it started walking deeper into the woods. Her glistening eyes met his, all the betrayal in the world pooled in them. His stomach tightened and he closed his eyes as he turned his back on her, following Erwin, fighting back tears as he did.

_**So this is my first ever attempt at an Attack on Titan fanfic, I hope it was halfway decent! I totally love Levi, so much so that I decided he deserved a story. So this obviously takes place before the events in the show, and before Levi becomes as revered as he is. Before he became as hardened as he is. And also before Petra and his other squad. **_

_** So tell me what you all think of the beginning of my little story here! Reviews are very much appreciated! **_


	2. Chapter 2

Levi sat sullenly on his horse as what was left of the squads that had gone outside of the wall trekked back inside. He could only stare straight ahead, the reality of what had happened unable to sink into his head. His squad was gone. He had watched each of them die in the name of humanity, and for what? They didn't achieve anything on the mission. The wagons had been destroyed. His squad had trusted him with their lives and he had failed them. He let them die.

His eyes traveled to commander Erwin, who rode in front of him. If Levi could, he would have burned two holes in the commander's back. He could have saved Mina. It wouldn't have taken him but two minutes to free her. Instead he turned his back on her because one man told him to.

The people of wall Maria watched them as they rode by, their faces a mixture of emotions. Some watched in sympathy, others in sorrow when they didn't see their loved ones, and others in anger. One man stepped out of the crowd and shouted, "Where's the lumber?" When none of the scouts answered he clenched his fists and said, "Once again, a failed mission. When is the king going to realize you lot are worthless? You're sending good men and women out there to die for nothing! What have you actually accomplished?"

A group of people pulled the man back into the crowd, but the reality of his words hit the people. They whispered to each other and nodded their heads. Levi couldn't help but agree with the man. They hadn't really accomplished much of anything other than losing the lives of their comrades.

When they got back to the castle they stayed in, Levi hopped down from his horse and stretched his tense muscles. Somehow the beast had survived and untied himself to get to Levi. He and his horse had somewhat of an unlikely bond. It was as if the animal could actually think like a human. The hose knew when there were titans around, and had saved the captain's life on more than one occasion. He silently thanked whoever was watching over him that he at least hadn't lost everything.

He guided his horse, Rave, into his stall, where he continued to relieve him of his saddle and bridle. The horse nickered and swung his head over into the next stall where Stan's horse would have been. Levi watched, holding the saddle in his hands, fighting back the nausea that was creeping over him. He turned away, unwilling to think about his squad. He put the saddle and bridle in their correct spots and grabbed a brush. He also took a bucket of water and feed with him.

Rave chomped on his feed as Levi brushed out the horse's mane. Unbidden images of his comrades being killed flashed through his mind. It was his fault they were dead. His fault. He could have done something to save them. He didn't know what at the moment, but there had to have been something, there always was. It was his job to protect them and make sure they came home to their families, and he failed.

It was his fault.

He leaned his forehead against Rave's flank. The horse stopped chewing and turned his head around to look at Levi. The horse bobbed his head up and down, and then rubbed his nose in Levi's hair, blowing its warm breath on him. Levi caught its head in his hands and stroked his face, "Thank you." Of course he knew the horse didn't know what he was saying, but he thought he should say it anyway. He wished he could say it to his squad.

When Levi was finished, he ventured outside to figure out what to do. Erwin would be contacting him soon to pick out a new squad. It was something that he didn't want to deal with at that moment.

"Coffee?"

Startled, Levi looked to his left to where a short auburn-haired woman stood, holding out a thermos, "It's fresh."

"No thank you." He said quietly.

"They said you just returned," She continued, much to his annoyance, "from outside of the wall."

"Yes."

"Where's your squad?" She asked, looking around rather confused.

He clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palm. He knew he gave her the deadliest look he could muster, not that he meant to. She didn't know what had happened, it wasn't her fault she was curious, but he couldn't help the anger that he felt toward her. She shrunk back upon seeing his face, and he turned and walked away from her. He didn't like coffee anyway.

"Captain Levi."

He stopped short, sighing, and turned to find commander Erwin approaching him. He saluted and said, "Yes, commander Erwin?"

"I know you haven't been back but an hour, but I need you to tell the families of your squad that they aren't coming home." Erwin said, "The sooner we can move on to getting you a new squad the better."

Levi knew it was coming, though he didn't think this soon. Usually families found out the day after arriving home. He sighed, they had to find out eventually, "Yes, sir."

Erwin nodded and clapped Levi's shoulder, "You did good out there, Captain."

"Thank you, sir." He mumbled. _If I had done good, my friends would still be alive._

"Captain Levi?" He felt a hand touch his elbow, and found it was the woman again. Her face was apologetic, "I'm sorry. I hope you'll forgive me for before. I didn't know, Hange just told me."

Levi searched for the right words, "How could you have? You weren't on the mission."

"I just..." She paused, "I know what it's like to lose friends."

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Petra." She said, "Petra Ral. I just arrived the other day with the new scouts."

"Which squad are you in?" He asked.

"The seventh." She said, squinting as she remembered, "Under Captain Reiker."

"Come with me." He commanded, turning his back, "I have something you can help me with."

"Oh, uh, yes, sir." She said, sprinting to his side to keep up, "May I ask what we're doing?"

He stayed silent, leading her inside the mansion and down into the kitchen. The cooks were hard at work making food for the scouts who were supposed to have returned from the mission. One of them saw Levi as he was passing with a plate of spaghetti, "Oh, Captain Levi! Your squad's food is ready and at the table."

"Thank you, Silvester." He said monotonously, and turned to Petra, "What do you eat?"

"I-I like pancakes, sir." She stuttered.

"I will also need a plate of pancakes." Levi said, "The usual to drink."

"Yes, sir." Silvester said, flashing him a bright smile.

"This way, Petra." Levi swept past her and into the deserted cafeteria. He sat at the head of the table, where his usual cup of tea sat. In the chairs situated on either side of him, three plates of steaming food sat in front of three empty chairs. Petra stood awkwardly, holding her left arm. She started reaching for the seat immediately to his right. "That's Mina's seat." Levi said quietly, sipping on his tea.

"Oh, right." Petra said, and motioned to the empty seat next to it, "My I sit here?"

"Of course."

They sat in silence as Levi sipped his tea. The steaming food gradually turned cold, and Petra was brought her pancakes. Silvester entered the room smiling with a tower of pancakes neatly stacked on a plate. His smile soon vanished upon seeing only two scouts seated at the table. He put the pancakes in front of Petra and met Levi's eyes. Levi looked away and took a sip of tea, "More tea if you will, Silvester."

The other man's face fell, and he nodded, "Of course, sir."

Once his tea was refilled, Levi took a sip and said, "I need to tell the families of my squad that they won't be returning home. I don't know how to do it."

Petra looked at him, trying to down a mouthful of food. Once she did, she shrugged, "You just have to be kind. Gentle. But don't try to beat around the bush. Be upfront about it. But not too upfront."

"They're going to cry." He said.

Petra nodded, staring down at her plate, "They will, and you're going to have to stand there and comfort them."

"I don't know how."

"How to comfort them?"

"How to tell them I'm sorry, that I couldn't save them."

Petra put down her fork and reached an arm across the table to cover his hand with hers, "You can't save everyone, captain."

He clenched his fist, "I could have. I could have saved Mina. Erwin is the reason I didn't." Petra squeezed his hand, but he retracted it and threaded his fingers together, "I left her behind because he told me to."

"I'm sorry." Petra said quietly, "I don't know what else to say."

"There isn't anything."

"I can come with you if you want." Petra said.

"Thank you."

"Can I finish my pancakes first?"

"Take your time." He said, and took a sip of his tea.

After a moment, she said, "Sir, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Why do you drink your tea like that?" She asked.

He frowned, looking at the way he held his cup, "Like how?"

"Like that. Normal people hold the handle." She said, giving him a small smile. It was like Mina's smile.

"I don't want the handle to break." He said, "Before I joined the scouts, it was all I could do to stay alive. I was a petty criminal living in the underground cities. I always saw people drinking tea through the windows at restaurants, I could smell it when the door opened. It always smelled so good. So I finally got enough scrounged up to buy myself some tea and a tea cup. When I picked the cup up, the handle broke and it shattered on the ground. When I joined the scouts, I finally was able to drink the tea I'd been so dead set on drinking for the majority of my life, and you know what?"

"What?" Petra asked, her eyes widening.

"I hate it."

"What?" Petra asked again.

"Tea. I find it rather repulsing, actually." Levi said, taking a sip.

She stared at him dumbfounded, "Then why do you drink it?"

"Because it reminds me of the time I didn't have to worry about seeing my friends eaten in front of me." Levi said, "When our only worry was getting caught by the military police." He laughed, but it was a dry laugh, "We didn't even give the titans a second thought."

"Who sat there?" Petra asked after a moment of silence.

Levi looked to the empty seat at his left. He sighed, "His name was Lennox Reagan. My third in command."

"And there?" Petra motioned to the seat next to that.

"Stan Sherman." Levi said, "And next to you is Mina Sleven. My second in command."

_ My lucky number Sleven._ He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair before Petra could see the tears that glistened his eyes.

"Who were they?" She asked gently.

"Stan was a German man from Shiganshina. His family moved here when he was nine, he lived right next to the gate so he watched the scouts come and go. They were all he knew, so he joined them.

"Lennox's parents died in a cart accident when he was sixteen. He met his wife soon after, and got married. He joined the scouts a week after that. They were expecting their first child any day now.

"Mina was born and raised here. Her parents own a little china shop." He paused, "It was where I bought my teacup. Her father was a scout, the captain of my squad when I first joined. He died saving a recruit's life. She joined the scouts to avenge him."

"They sound amazing." Petra said.

"They were."

Levi stood, stretching his limbs, and set his teacup on Mina's plate of steak. It was medium rare, sitting next to a heap of mashed potatoes and gravy. There was a pickle on the side, added by Silvester because he knew they were her favorite. He stacked Lennox's smoked salmon and carrots on top of the steak. He wrinkled his nose at the fishy smell, he could never understand how Lennox ate the stuff. He juggled Stan's Schnitzel mit Pommes in his other hand.

He brought them into the kitchen, where Silvester was alone, tidying up what the other cooks had missed. He looked up as Levi entered and moved to take the plates from him. Levi shook his head and set them on the counter, "I can take care of them, Silvester. Go home."

"Yes, sir." Silvester said, bowing his head. Before he disappeared through the door, he paused and said, "I'm sorry about your friends, captain. I really am."

Levi didn't say anything back, only scraped Mina's steak off of her plate. He heard Silvester leave, and finished dumping the untouched food into the garbage can. He then filled a sink with steaming hot water. Taking a sponge, he cleaned off each plate until it was sparkling like new, all remnants of the food before was gone. Never again would they be filled with steak, or salmon, or pork.

Petra appeared beside him, taking his hands out of the water, "You're burning yourself, captain."

He looked down at his hands, which were a blazing red. He hadn't even realized they were burned. She took some bandages out from the first aid kit in the kitchen and sat down on a stool. She looked up at him and said, "Well sit down then."

He allowed himself to follow her orders and held out his right hand. She applied a cool salve and then wrapped the soft bandages around it. He watched her do so, studying the way she did. "How did you become so well at bandaging?"

"My mother was a healer. She taught me everything I know." Petra said, concentrating on her bandaging. She stuck her thumb out of the corner of her mouth as she did.

"We should do this now." He said, "Tell the families."

"Whenever you're ready, captain." Petra said, giving him a reassuring smile.

They saddled their horses and set off toward town, riding in silence the entire time. They passed through the gate, receiving salutes from the Garrison. Levi rode by them without a glance, and into the city behind wall Maria.

People were going about their business, carrying on with their everyday lives. Women were hanging their family's laundry on the line, kids were out flying kites, or chasing poor stray animals down the street. The men were no doubt out in the fields or forests, providing food for their families. Levi remembered a time when his mother would be high in their two story home, hanging their clothes on the line above the street. His father would be gone, plowing the fields for the meager wage he earned each day, but it provided all the food they needed. He would be out with his friends Isabel and Farlan, trying to catch chickens as was their usual game.

Sometimes he wished he could go back to that time, when everything was so innocent and special. These people lived as if nothing was happening. They put their walls up around them and went on with their lives, pretending that there wasn't anything wrong with the world. If only they could see what he saw, watched their friends and loved ones die, then they would know. They carried on with their lives, oblivious to the ones lost that morning, and every day before that. They allowed themselves to believe that they were safe, that as long as the wall was there nothing would ever happen. He wished he could believe it too.

When he arrived at Stan's parent's home, he took a deep breath and hopped down from his horse. Petra followed suit, and they walked up the small stone path to the little yellow house. Levi held his breath as he knocked on the door. He heard shuffling inside, and the door opened to reveal a petite woman with sandy blond hair. Stan had looked exactly like her. She smiled, "Oh, Captain Levi, what a surprise!"

"Good afternoon Mrs. Sherman." He said, thanking whoever watched over him that his voice didn't shake, "May we come in?"

"Oh of course, of course!" Emma Sherman exclaimed, stepping aside to allow him and Petra in. She closed the door behind them and said, "Please, come into the living room. Herman's knees are giving him problems, so he's been resting all afternoon." They followed her into the living room and took a seat on the small love seat. Seated in a plush red recliner was Herman Sherman. Mina had died laughing when she'd heard his name, as had Lennox. Even Levi had let out a chuckle.

Herman was a big man, all brawn. It was where Stan had gotten his bulkiness from. Even for his old age, Herman's blue eyes shone bright when he saw the captain. Levi shook his hand, "Good afternoon, Mr. Sherman."

"Please, captain," Herman cackled, "how many times do I have to tell you? Call me Herman."

Emma swept into the room, holding a tray with a pitcher of lemonade and four cups. She smiled, "I just made it this morning. Stan loves his lemonade."

"So he's said." Levi managed to say, "This is Petra, one of the new recruits this year."

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sherman." Petra said politely.

"So how is Stan, is he doing well in the scouts?" Herman asked, "He writes to us occasionally to say how he is." Emma pulled up a chair next to him, taking his hand in hers. They both smiled, "We're so proud of him." Herman said.

"He said he'd be stopping by later, have you seen him?" Emma asked.

"Mr. and Mrs. Sherman I-"

"Oh forgive us!" Emma cut him off, "We're asking you all these questions and you're clearly not here for us to ask you questions."

"I'm here to tell you some news about Stan." Levi started, feeling his hands start to shake. He folded them together and looked into the Sherman's faces, "This morning, the scouts went on a mission to retrieve lumber to build more housing units inside the wall."

Herman and Emma nodded, their smiles fading only a little.

"While on the mission, the forest we had cleared out became the object of a titan ambush." Levi said, trying to find the right words. _Be upfront._ He took a deep breath, "Stan was killed, valiantly protecting the lives of the supply squads."

Emma gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. Tears instantly formed in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Herman just sat in his chair staring straight ahead, like he was still trying to comprehend what Levi had said.

"It was our mission." Levi continued, "He never abandoned them."

Emma dabbed at her eyes with a napkin, "Are you sure? Maybe he just is unconscious. O-or-" she stopped herself, more tears spilling out of her eyes, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Sherman." Levi said, mustering all his sincerity, "I really am."

"He died saving lives?" Herman whispered, "He died bravely? Honorably?"

"He did." Levi said.

"His body?" Herman asked.

Images of Stan being torn in half flashed through Levi's head, and he shook his head, "I'm sorry."

Herman closed his eyes, one small tear falling from his eye. He nodded, "My son died a hero. That's all I could have asked for. I couldn't be any more proud of him."

Emma took hold of her husband's hand, "_We _couldn't be any more proud of him."

"Thank you captain Levi. Petra." Herman said, "Please don't be a stranger to this household."

"Never." Levi said, "I just want you to know that your son lives on through me. I will make sure his sacrifice wasn't in vain." He clenched his fists, "I won't stop until every last titan is gone from this earth."

"You remember that, son." Herman said, "Remember that."

Levi nodded, and he and Petra walked out of the house. The Shermans knew they would never see him again.

The next house on his list was Lennox's. He was afraid of upsetting his wife, Jenny, in her pregnancy. The last thing he wanted was to distress her while she was with child. Maybe he would let Petra help him this time.

Levi knocked on the door, which opened almost immediately. Standing in front of them was a slim red-headed woman. Levi had never seen Lennox's wife before, but he knew immediately that it was her. Lennox had described her on more than one occasion. Red hair, freckles on her nose, as beautiful as the sunset.

Levi looked down to a small bundle she cradled in her arms. His eyes widened when he saw the shock of auburn hair. His stomach churned as he looked up into her green eyes. She was obviously startled, "Can I help you?"

"He-he said you weren't due for a couple weeks." Levi whispered.

"He?" She asked, covering the child protectively.

"My name is Levi Ackerman. I was Lennox's squad captain." Levi said, "This is Petra Ral."

Jenny smiled, obviously relieved, "Oh, captain, yes! Lennox has told me all about you. Please come in."

He stepped inside and closed the door behind Petra, who had stayed silent the entire time. Jenny sat down at the table in the dining room, cradling the infant in her arms, "I'm sorry the house is a mess, I wasn't expecting visitors."

"We weren't expecting this visit either." Levi said quietly.

Jenny looked up at him upon hearing the softness of his voice. He couldn't help the look on his face, and she nodded, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. The baby started crying, and Jenny wrapped the blanket around it more. She rocked the baby until it stopped crying and she said, "Lennox was so happy about our child."

"It was one of the last things he talked about." Levi said, "About how excited he was."

"He picked out the name of our son." She said, staring down at the little bundle. In her eyes was all the love in the world, the love of a mother.

"What did you name him?" Petra asked.

"Levi." Jenny said, turning her green gaze on the captain, who stared dumbfounded at her, "He loved you." Her face fell, and she cried, her shoulders shaking from her sobs.

Petra stepped in front of Levi and held out her arms, "Here, let me me take him for a moment."

"Thank you." Jenny said between sobs. Petra held the infant close and left the room, giving Levi a look that said, 'say something'.

"Jenny, I-" He stopped, kneeling down in front of her, taking her hands in his, "I'm sorry I couldn't save him."

She looked down at him, her cheeks glistening with tears, "Just tell me he died with purpose. Even if he didn't. Just tell me."

"Oh but he did." Levi said, "He died protecting good people. I know it's not the sort of consolation you want, but he was one of the best soldiers I've ever known." He paused, and then said, "And a good friend."

"I don't even have a picture." She said, putting a hand over her mouth.

Levi reached in his pocket, drawing out a photograph Lennox kept in his pocket on every mission for good luck, which he coincidentally had left behind that morning. He put it in Jenny's hand, and she gasped upon looking at it, more tears rolling down her cheeks. It was a small photo, small enough to fit in Lennox's breast pocket. It was a professional photograph of Lennox and Jenny, his arms around her. They were smiling like fools.

"Where?" She asked, unable to say anything else.

"Lennox kept it with him, always." Levi said, "He left it behind this time."

"Thank you captain." She whispered, "For everything."

Petra entered the room, handing the infant back to Jenny. Levi looked at it with awe. Such innocence. "He looks like him." Levi said, and then he and Petra left her, crying into the infant's blanket.

The next place Levi went was the high court. Court was in session, so he sat quietly in the corner with Petra until there was a recess. Before the judge could leave, Levi stepped in his way. "Just what do you think you're-" The judge caught himself upon seeing Levi and said, "Oh, Captain Levi, forgive me, you startled me is all."

"I have something I need you to do." Levi said.

"You name it!" The judge said, smiling.

"Marcus Sleven." Levi stated, "You're bringing him to court to decide whether he can live on his own or go to an institution."

"Ah yes, yes, Marcus." The judge muttered.

"We both know what your decision is." Levi said, "Today his sister, Mina, was killed on a mission."

The judge's eyes widened, "Mina? She's gone?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry." The judge breathed, "What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to release Marcus to scout custody." Levi said.

"Marcus isn't fit for that sort of duty." The judge said defensively.

"He wouldn't be going on missions. Only tending to things around the estate that we can't get to on a daily basis. His chores would include taking care of the horses, making sure they have food and water, and make sure their stalls are clean. Cutting the grass, tending to the flowers, cleaning the mansion. His help is much needed." Levi explained.

The judge listened, and nodded his head when he was finished, "I think your idea sounds great, captain. It's better than letting him waste away in an institution. All I need is an approval from commander Erwin and then I don't see why Marcus couldn't help out around your estate."

"Thank you." Levi said, and let the judge go off to eat his lunch.

"That was a good thing you just did." Petra said.

"It was the last thing I could do for her." Levi said, and then he strode out of the courts to go home.

_**I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who read my first chapter, favorited, followed, and reviewed my story! It is much appreciated. So here is the second installment, kind of showing Levi's distress after losing those around him. Of course I added in Petra, because I love her as a character, I don't have a side between the Petra and Levi thing, like I totally think they would make a cute couple, but I'm not saying that I ship them 100%. Though his face after seeing her dead and watching her body get thrown out of the cart, did break my heart! **_

_** So please, read, review, do what you will! **_


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